Self-improvement and growth are a big topic for me and I think it is everyone's duty to become the best version of himself. I try to read every day and with this blog, I want to summarize the books that I have read and say my thoughts about them.

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Devin Hasler


## 🚀 The Book in 3 Sentences

1. We should learn to understand our emotions better.
2. Romanticism has failed.
3. Sometimes it is good to be bad.

## 🕵🏼Who Should Read It?

The book is generally written for a wide audience since improving ourselves and understanding ourselves should be the goal of every person and firmly implanted in our school system. However, I would say that if some knowledge is already present in these specific areas, the book can feel repetitive and lengthy.

## ☘️ How the Book Changed Me

I learned a lot of concepts in the subject of emotional maturity and improved my understanding of the importance of learning these subjects in school. As the author Alain mentions in the introduction, we sadly pay too much attention to scientific matters and principles and neglect the emotional side of life. It would be wrong, on the other hand, to dismiss all scientific learnings from school, but we should find a better balance between these two subjects.

## ✍️ My Top 3 Quotes

> “We need to become better friends to ourselves.” Alain de Botton

> “Contented people have no need to hurt others.” Alain de Botton

> “Our degree of satisfaction is critically dependent on our expectations.” Alain de Botton

## 📒 Summary + Notes

The book has set itself a challenging goal since catching up in emotional education with just one single book is quite a big task. Nonetheless, the book manages to achieve this by structuring the content into five topics, which are then explained in greater depth.

### I. Self

Alain mentions in this chapter how strange it is that we have so little knowledge about our inner selves. Although it seems like we are the owners of our skulls since we carry them with us all the time, most of the time we remain strangers to what unfolds within them.

The author mentions the importance of having fundamental emotional skepticism. Skepticism comes from the Greek word “skepsis” which means questioning. I find this an immensely important concept as questioning your own thoughts can make a huge difference. In this lies the concept of Socrates, who says, “I am wise not because I know, but because I know I don’t know,” which couldn’t be more true.

Further, Alain mentions the relevance of understanding his own past since every person has their own primal wounds, as he calls them. Primal wounds are experiences that were made in childhood which have strongly shaped our emotional side and our character. There is always a logic and a history behind another person.

It is interesting that a child who suffers at the hands of an adult almost always takes what has happened to them as a reflection of what is wrong with themselves. This then takes a lot of effort to reflect on oneself to acknowledge that most of the mistakes were not made by the child but by the adult instead.

One really interesting thing that Alain mentions in this chapter is a list which consists of things that can be expected of an emotionally healthy childhood. This list, as he said, can help to check for dislocations that happened. The list is pretty long, which is why I am unable to provide the whole list in this summary, but I nonetheless want to list the most important things that stuck with me:

- In an emotionally healthy childhood, someone will put themselves profoundly at our service.
- In an emotionally healthy childhood, we’re given the benefit of the doubt.
- In an emotionally healthy childhood, we aren’t always required to be wholly good boys or girls.
- Importantly, in an emotionally healthy childhood, plenty goes wrong.
- In an emotionally healthy childhood, the child can see that the good career isn’t either entirely good or wholly bad and so isn’t worthy of either idealization or denigration.

### II. Others

Our society is much more interested in winners than it is in losers. In addition to that, you get what you are, which means that there is no such thing as bad luck. If you failed, you just did not do enough, and it is solely your fault. Because of this, the suicide rate in our modern world is so high, as we judge failing so harshly. But in ancient Greece, there was another alternative: you can be good even if you have failed.

Also in this chapter, the concept of the weakness of strength is mentioned. This means that the very same character trait that we approve of will be inseparable from tendencies we end up regretting. This is why we should understand that there is no person with only strengths. This leads to the importance of kindness, which Alain explains as follows:

“Kindness is built out of a constantly renewed and gently resigned awareness that weakness-free people do not exist.”

This is something I struggle with a lot because I try to get rid of all my weaknesses. This then leads to myself having goals and expectations of myself which are very hard to meet. Also, it diverts my energy into multiple directions which makes it hard for me to become very good in just one thing and accept the lack thereof in another area.

In this chapter, Alain also mentions something important. It is the formula of self-esteem:

$$\text{Self Esteem} = \frac{\text{Success}}{\text{Expectations}}$$

The quest of building self-esteem can be easy since you can just lower your expectations, but in my opinion, this is not the right way to do it. But this can lead to a problem since although tremendous success cannot lead to any self-esteem because the expectations are set so high. Finding the balance between having high expectations and allowing oneself to build good self-esteem is a challenge one has to solve for oneself, and it is something I personally struggle with since I always set myself high expectations.

### III. Relationships

When we Western people talk about love, we talk about Romanticism. It’s the only thing we love, and it’s what we have always watched as children when we watched the newest Disney movie. Romanticism has managed to display the concept of love in an enjoyable and beautiful manner. They were extremely talented at displaying their hopes and longings. But Alain states that Romanticism has failed miserably. Romanticism told us things like:

- We should meet a person with extraordinary inner and outer beauty.
- We should have no secrets.
- We should understand each other intuitively.
- We should raise a family without any loss of sexual or emotional intensity.

All these things were advertised by Romanticism. The problem is that finding partners that check all these boxes is nearly impossible, which is why a lot of relationships fail because we always think about the things our partner does not check. Alain suggests replacing Romanticism with a much more mature vision of love which says:

- It is normal that love and sex do not always belong together.
- Discussing money early on, up front, in a serious way is not a betrayal of love.
- Realizing that we are rather flawed, and our partner is too, is of huge benefit to a couple in increasing the amount of tolerance and generosity in circulation.
- We will never find everything in another person, nor they in us, not because of some unique incapacity, but because of the basic operations of human nature.
- We need to make immense and often rather artificial-sounding efforts to understand one another because intuition will never be enough.
- Practicalities matter—so, for example, there is special dignity around the topics of laundry and domestic management.

### IV. Work

In this chapter, Alain talks about the danger of being a so-called good boy or girl. This is the sort of person that is happy all the time, that tries to make it right for everyone, and is just generally the person that our school system tries to “produce.” The problem, though, is that these people suppress their emotions so badly that they feel strong side effects after. They have sudden outbursts of anger, they become bitter and harsh, and much more. Also, it can lead to us becoming timid when we are overexposed to other people’s good sides.

Another thing that happens in our childhood is the building and experiencing of imposter syndrome. From an early age on, we experience our parents as very different from us since we don’t have the same hobbies, capabilities, and so on. This then leads to us thinking that we are not the type of person to be successful and happy. In that regard, there is also the fact that we know ourselves from the inside and from the outside, and we experience every thought and emotion we have. But from other people, we only see what they do and what they tell us, which is a far narrower source of information. This leads to us feeling much freakier, stranger, and less competent. We have to start to acknowledge that other people have the same strange thoughts that we do and that they make the same mistakes.

### V. Culture

This is the chapter where Alain talks about the values we have in our culture. He compares Romanticism with Classical Culture in different aspects. Because of the number of differences discussed, I will not be able to list them here without making this summary unpleasantly long, but I want to mention one thing. Why do we value price so much? It seems that in our culture, price is the only thing that matters to us. It is not the quality (look at Louis Vuitton and Gucci with their exceptionally bad quality), it is not the emotional value, it is just the price. This is something where we should go back to the mind of a 4-year-old who does not understand the concept of price and chooses things based on their instinct.

Because of the sheer amount of things to learn from this book, it was very difficult to choose which things to add to this blog. This is why I apologize for the length of this blog and hope that it was interesting nonetheless. I strongly advise everyone to read this book as it holds very interesting concepts that I believe everyone should have heard of. With that, I thank you for reading this blog, and

I look forward to seeing you reading my next blog post and wish you all the best.

Regards,  
Devin Hasler


A book by Alain de Botton about Emotional Education

The school of life


## 🚀 The Book in 3 Sentences

1. The most important thing in a negotiation is to listen
2. Try to find the Black Swans (Unknown Unknowns) in every negotiation
3. three

## 🕵🏼Who Should Read It?

There is probably no person on which this book is not able to be beneficial if read. The skill of negotiation can be applicable to everyone's life since negotiations don’t happen just in a business context. The well and easy writing style of Tahl Raz is very pleasing which guarantees a pleasant reading experience. Also, the summaries at the end of each chapter help remember the book's content and rereading.

## ☘️ How the Book Changed Me

Since this book was the first book I read about negotiating, it consisted of a lot of valuable information. The negotiation strategies taught in this book are very reasonable and socially acceptable as well, since the goal is not only to reach a certain price point but also to manage and build a good connection with your negotiating partner. All through the book, interesting and applicable examples are provided, which can help improve the understanding of the book's content and strategies.

## ✍️ My Top 3 Quotes

> “Negotiation is not an act of battle; it’s a process of discovery.” Chris Voss
>

> “Know the emotional drivers and you can frame the benefits of any deal in language that will resonate.” Chris Voss
>

> “No, is the start of the negotiation, not the end of it.” Chris Voss
>

## 📒 Summary + Notes

### 1. How to establish Rapport and build Empathy

To negotiate over something with a pretty much unknown person, it is important to gather information. This can best be done through listening. Psychotherapy has shown that when individuals feel listened to, they tend to listen to themselves more carefully. This also means that people evaluate and clarify their own thoughts and feelings better.

Once the listening part is done correctly, it is important to build rapport with the negotiating partner. To accomplish this, there is a simple process that can be followed for reaching success.

1. Use the late-night FM DJ voice.

2. Start with “I’m sorry . . .”

3. Mirror.

4. Silence. At least four seconds, to let the mirror work its magic on your counterpart.

5.  Repeat.

The late-night FM DJ voice can be used to sound calm, assertive, and sure about what you do. It can be accomplished by inflecting your voice in a downward way.

Mirroring in step 3 is also called isopraxism, and it is the process of essentially imitating the other person. Humans and other animals do that to comfort each other. Isopraxism can happen verbally but also non-verbally, for example, with body language. In a negotiation, mirroring is when you repeat what the other person said.

### 2. Beware “YES”—master “NO”

A very interesting thing taught in the book is that a negotiator should beware of a "yes" and instead try to accomplish a "no". Because most of the time, "yes" can have multiple meanings. "Yes" can be a counterfeit, which means that the "yes" is often followed by a "no", but saying "yes" was the easier option. "Yes" can also be a confirmation, which has no real effect on the negotiation, or a "yes" can be a commitment, which is the desired response. The problem is that you have to be able to know which "yes" you received, and that can sometimes be challenging.

"No", on the other hand, is much simpler and easier to say because most of the time it means one of the following things:

- I am not yet ready to agree
- You are making me feel uncomfortable
- I do not understand
- I don’t think I can afford it
- I want something else
- I  need more information
- I want to talk it over with someone else.

After you hear a 'no', you can then ask questions about why it doesn’t work for them and what the problem is. This leads to gaining information and a better understanding of the other person.

As you can see, “No” has a lot of skills

- “No” allows the real issues to be brought forth;
- “No” protects people from making—and lets them correct—ineffective decisions;
- “No” slows things down so that people can freely embrace their decisions and the agreements they enter into;
- “No” helps people feel safe, secure, emotionally comfortable, and in control of their decisions;
- “No” moves everyone’s efforts forward.

### 3. How to get permission to persuade

Since a 'yes' does not always mean the 'yes' you are hoping for, it is generally much better to try to achieve a 'that’s right'. This phrase is where the magic happens and represents that you are on the right track. But be careful about 'you are right', since this is mostly used to signal the end of the conversation. Because most of the time, there is nothing to be discussed after one is perceived to be right. A 'that’s right' can be accomplished with a combination of labeling and mirroring.

### 4. How to shape what is fair

When trying to reach a good result in a negotiation, it is important to know some tips and tricks. It is good to know that although most people think they act on behalf of rational thinking, most decision-making is governed by emotions. This is important since humans are prone to reject unfairness. This keyword 'fairness' can be very powerful if used correctly. The authors explain that the word should be used when starting the conversation like this:

'I want you to feel like you are being treated fairly at all times. So please stop me at any time if you feel I’m being unfair, and we’ll address it.'

This sets you up as an honest dealer and creates a constructive environment. To not make this blog longer than it has to be, I will provide the next tips in a short format:

- **Anchor their emotions**: If you have negative news try to anchor the emotions so that when you say your offer it does not sound as bad.
- **Establish a range**: When negotiating for a price or salary try to talk in ranges to not force the counterpart into defensive mode.
- **Pivot to non-monetary terms**: This can make a negotiation reach a succesful end although not all parties agreed on monetary terms
- **When talking numbers use odd ones**: This makes the number seem calculated and fixed.
- **Surprise with a gift**: People are prone to respond to generosity with generosity.

### 5. Create the illusion of control

Another thing to do in a negotiation is using what are called calibrated questions. These can be used to say no in a non-confrontational way or make your counterpart understand your side without aggression or confrontation. Ask calibrated questions that start with “how” or “what”. For example:

- What about this is important to you?
- How can I help to make this better for us?
- How would you like me to proceed?
- What is it that brought us into this situation?
- How can we solve this problem?
- What’s the objective? / What are we trying to accomplish here?
- How am I supposed to do that?

  Also calibrate your questions to point your counterpart to solving your problem. This will make them finding a solution for your problem.


### 6. Guarantee execution

In this chapter, the authors talk about the importance of not only getting a yes but also talking about the how. Clarity on how something will be done or implemented can lead to a lower execution hurdle. In the context of investigation execution, the authors mention the 7-38-55 rule, which says that only 7 percent of a message is based on words, 38 percent on the tonality of your voice, and 55 percent on your body language and face. Understanding your counterpart's body language can also greatly increase your possibility of catching them lying since a disparity between words and body language exists when someone is lying.

### 7. Bargaining hard

This chapter is about how to reach a desired price in a negotiating situation.

1. Set your target price (your goal).

2. Set your first offer at 65 percent of your target price.

3. Calculate three raises of decreasing increments (to 85, 95, and 100 percent).

4. Use lots of empathy and different ways of saying “No” to get the other side to counter before you increase your offer.

5. When calculating the final amount, use precise, non round numbers like, say, $37,893 rather than $38,000. It gives the number credibility and weight.

6. On your final number, throw in a non-monetary item (that they probably don’t want) to show you’re at your limit.

### 8. Find the black swan

The black swan theory says that things happen which previously were thought to be impossible. In a negotiation, this theory suggests that there are unknown unknowns which, if brought to light, can be used as leverage. To uncover black swans, one has to see everything with a beginner's mind to not miss information due to our own perception.

### The one sheet

This is a sheet that the authors suggest to prepare before every negotiation. This sheet helps you stick to your defined strategy and helps you keep memorising vital information.

**The Goal**

Think through best/worst-case scenarios but only write down a specific goal that represents the best case.

- Set an optimistic but reasonable goal and define it clearly.
- Write it down.
- Discuss your goal with a colleague (this makes it harder to wimp out).
- Carry the written goal into the negotiation.
- Carry the written goal into the negotiation.

**Summary**

Summarise and write out in just a couple of sentences the known facts that have led up to the negotiation.

**Labels and accusation audits**

Prepare three to five labels to perform an accusation audit.

It seems like _________ is valuable to you.

It seems like you don’t like _________.

It seems like you value __________.

It seems like _________ makes it easier.

It seems like you’re reluctant to _________.

**Calibrated questions**

Prepare three to five calibrated questions to reveal value to you and your counterpart and identify and overcome potential deal killers.

What are we trying to accomplish? How is that worthwhile? What’s the core issue here? How does that affect things? What’s the biggest challenge you face?

Additionally it makes sense to prepare questions to diffuse deal-killing issues or questions that unearth them.

**Non cash offers**

Prepare a list of non-cash items possessed by your counterpart that would be valuable.

I've made it this far, and I want to thank you for reading this blog. I hope you've learned as much about negotiations as I have. May you have many successful negotiations ahead, and I wish you all the best.

Regards
Devin Hasler

A book about the art of negotiating and being a better negotiator.

Never split the difference


## 🚀 The Book in 3 Sentences

1. Rapport is when two people “get” each other.
2. Rapport help create a real honest connection.
3. Two use rapport, use the HEAR principle and the animal circle.

## 🕵🏼Who Should Read It?

The book aims at a very broad spectrum of people because every person communicates in their daily life. The techniques and models presented in the book address the problems and solutions for everyday communication. The book will help understand relationship dynamics better and also generally improve your relationships. Because of the authors simple writing style the book is an easy read. During the book there are a lot of example conversations where the techniques learned from this book are used.

## ☘️ How the Book Changed Me

The content of the book is simple and easy understandable but not groundbreaking. This is why I did not learn a lot of new knowledge. What I never heard of though is that you can split the people in 4 communication types.

## ✍️ My Top Quotes

> “Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend’s forehead.” Alison Emily, Alison Laurence
>

> “The real key to communication lies in what you do before you even open your mouth.” Alison Emily, Alison Laurence
>

## 📒 Summary + Notes

The book Rapport teaches a simple model for understanding conversations and interactions. The two authors of this book have a lot of experience with interrogations and their experience as well as multiple studies have shown that building an innate connection with the person you are talking to is the better option than trying to get what you want with force or manipulation.

### The cornerstones of rapport

Rapport as described before is the practice to create real meaningful relationships. In other words rapport is when two people ‘get’ each other. Rapport should be based on four cornerstones as suggested in the book:

- **Honesty**:Be objective and direct when communicating your intentions or feelings. 
- **Empathy**:Understand someone based on recognition of their core beliefs and values. 
- **Autonomy**:Emphasise other people’s free will and right to choose whether to cooperate. 
- **Reflection**:Identify and repeat back those elements that are significant, meaningful and tactical to help guide a conversation towards the goal.

These cornerstones can be grouped in what the book calls the HEAR principle. These cornerstones where found to be the core tenets of how to maintain engagement with other people in a positive and productive way, regardless of how adversarial or awkward the situation.

### Rapport: what is it good for?

As mentioned before, the two authors of this book, Emily Alison and Laurence Alison, both come from a background of interrogation mostly criminal investigations. Most of us don’t interrogate criminals as a hobby or even once in our life. The thing is rapport should not only be used when wanting to get information, like in an interrogation, but in every  communication during the day. With rapport you will let you leave conversations with your confidence, integrity and moral compass intact. Instead of letting a shouting battle destroy your day you will let it go. Also Rapport will make people perceive you as a better listener and as a nice person to talk to.

### The animal circle

The HEAR Principle will serve you well in improving your communication and connection across all relationships but it is important to acknowledge that not every communication. This is due to the fact that people are different. Some are natural leaders, some thrive on conflict while others prefer to stay in the background. This is where the animal circle provided by the book comes into play.

<img src="/images/blog/rapport/animalCircle.png" alt="Animal Circle" title="Animal Circle" width="50%" height="auto" />

*The good and bad animal circle*

During every interaction a person can be categories in one of four animals, Lion, Monkey, T-Rex and Mouse. Every Animal has its own characteristics:

- **Lion:** The Lion like to be in charge, advised and sets the agenda
- **Monkey:** The monkey is very friendly, likes cooperation and working in as a team
- **Mouse:** The mouse is humble, seeks guidance and likes to capitulate
- **T-Rex:** The T-Rex is forthright, critical, frank and likes conflict.

The quick shorthand for using the model to diagnose an interaction is to ask two simple questions: Does this person want me to be psychologically higher (Lion) or lower (Mouse) than them in this situation? Does this person want a psychological scrap with me (T-Rex) or a hug (Monkey)?

It is important to note that no animal is bad or not as good as another. Every animal and with that every characteristic has its place in the world otherwise the world would be boring and blunt. Also every animal has a bad counterpart which can be found on the bad circle. The goal is now to find out in every interaction in wich animal your counterpart is. If you think your counterpart is acting on the bad cycle, then you should try to counter them with acting on the good circle.

In the book there are multiple questions to answer the question of wich animal you are the best in and which you are not as good in. After the assessment you will have a spider chart of your good and bad animal circle. The ultimate goal is to communicate more and better  in the good circle and less in the bad circle.

Now equipped with this new communication model I hope you enjoyed reading this blog and recommend checking out the book if you want to learn more about the animal circle, rapport and how to use it in everyday life. I look forward to seeing you reading my next blog post and wish you all the best.

Regards
Devin Hasler

A book about how to create real honest communication and how to become a better communicator

Rapport


## 🚀 The Book in 3 Sentences

1. There is no pleasure without pain
2. It is possible to release pleasure with pressing on the pain side
3. A long exposure to increased dopamine can lead to changes in your brain plasticity

## 🕵🏼Who Should Read It?

The book is applicable to everyone's life. Every person on this earth releases dopamine for everything they do or for everything they are looking for. Knowing what the pleasure-pain balance is has the power to improve everyone's life.

## ☘️ How the Book Changed Me

I found the book very interesting, as I am a big fan of more scientifically based books. Anna provides interesting real-life examples about the theories she presents from her psychiatric practice. It was astonishing for me to learn that we humans are basically not meant to be happy all the time. Due to the pleasure-pain balance, it is biologically not possible to be happy all the time. After reading this book, I now think differently about the phases of one's life where things don't seem to work as smoothly as in other times. I think of them as something human and not something that is bad.

## ✍️ My Top Quotes

> “Persons with severe addictions are among those contemporary prophets that we ignore to our own demise, for they show us who we truly are.” Kent Dunnington
>

> “Any prolonged or repeated departures from hedonic or affective neutrality have a cost.” Richard Solomon and John Corbit
>

## 📒 Summary + Notes

The general topic of the book, as the name suggests, is Dopamine. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that bridges the distance between neurons, much like a baseball bridges the distance between the pitcher and catcher. Dopamine is known as the 'feel-good' hormone as it is responsible in our body for rewarding us when we achieve something. Although scientists have discovered that dopamine may play a bigger role in the motivation to get a reward than the pleasure of the reward itself.

The problem is that dopamine does not know if we do something to survive and preserve our race or if we are just lazy lying on the couch watching Netflix. Because our brain and our reward system are not made for the highly stimulating environment we live in, they suffer under immense overload. When we eat a fat Big Mac, our brain thinks we hunted the biggest animal on the planet and awards us for being so brave and feasting our body with so many calories and fats. What our body doesn’t know is that we have the potential to eat an unlimited amount of Big Macs because we left the era of hunting many centuries ago.

<img src="/images/blog/dopamineNation/dopamineMethology.png" alt="Dopamine as a Neurotransmitter explained" title="Dopamine as a Neurotransmitter explained" width="50%" height="auto" />

Dopamine as a Neurotransmitter

### Part 1: The Pursuit of Pleasure

As already mentioned, we live in a world with an abundance of dopamine-rewarding technologies and things to do. What we lack is the ability to cope with that and handle it. That is how we get addicted.

The definition of addiction is as follows:

Addiction is the continued and compulsive consumption of a substance or behavior (gambling, gaming, sex) despite its harm to self and/or others.

And why do we consume these substances or continue to engage in that behavior, you may ask? Because the consumption releases dopamine.

The problem is that these substances and behaviors are so easily accessible. We need zero effort to go from the couch to the fridge, and already we are able to consume as many calories as we want.

**********************************************The pleasure-pain cycle**********************************************

In addition to discovering dopamine, scientists also found that pleasure and pain are processed in overlapping brain regions. This means that pleasure and pain work in a balance. As a result, the balance does not want to be out of balance on either side for a long period of time. Because of that, it is biologically impossible to be happy all the time. Also, this implies that even if you only pursue things that make you happy, you will not be happier compared to someone who sometimes does something that they do not like.

### Part 2: Self-Binding

There are multiple ways to address a dopamine 'overdose.' The goal of all these methods is to reset the dopamine level to a normal state. One of the mentioned ways, for example, is to undergo a dopamine detox. This is a widely discussed topic, and multiple videos can be found on the internet about how to do that. In short, it involves the absence of highly stimulating activities or consumptions for a period of time. One method to achieve this is the method of self-binding, where you make it as difficult as possible to consume or engage in certain behaviour.

### Part 3: The Pursuit of Pain

Due to the fact that pain and pleasure work in balance, pleasure can be attained by pressing on the pain side. This is, for example, the explanation for the good feelings after a gym session or the hype after an ice bath. A study conducted on dogs found that when dogs were given small electroshocks, they whined, and their heart started pumping fast. However, after some time, their heart rate fell lower than the average heart rate before the shock. This meant that they were more relaxed than before the shock. Also, the repeated exposure to this shock led to a decrease in the shock, but the feel-good feeling lasted longer than after the first time.

Because of all these factors, we should manage our dopamine consumption much more, especially as a child. Overconsumption can lead to long-lasting changes in brain plasticity. That is why it is important to manage the consumption of dopamine, as it can lead to depression and a loss of motivation. I highly recommend reading this book as it contains much more information than it is possible to mention in this blog. I hope you like this blog and I look forward to to seeing you reading my next blog post.

Regards
Devin Hasler

A book about the problems of dopamine flooded world and the problem that come with it.

Dopamine Nation


## 🚀 The Book in 3 Sentences

1. The meaning of life is constantly evolving and changing
2. The tensionless state is not the state to be in
3. Meaning in life is the primary force in human existence

## 🕵🏼Who Should Read It?

I can recommend this book to everyone interested in the events that occurred in a Nazi camp. Additionally, since Viktor Frankl is a psychiatrist with extensive knowledge in the field of psychiatry, the book is interesting for anyone who wants to learn more about the psychological aspects of individuals in extreme situations and their search for meaning in life.

## ☘️ How the Book Changed Me

Personally, I already knew some things about the events in concentration camps from movies and documentaries, but the book provides a different perspective on the story – one that focuses on the human mind in these situations. This is highly intriguing and has altered and influenced my perspective on the meaning of life, particularly the idea that the meaning of life can change from hour to hour, month to month, or year to year. Logotherapy has indeed altered my perspective on how I view the meaning of life and how to discover it.

## ✍️ My Top 3 Quotes

> “Emotion, which is suffering, ceases to be suffering as soon as we form a clear and precise picture of it.” Baruch Spinoza
>

> “He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how.” Friedrich Nietzsche
>

> “Don’t aim at success— the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it.” Viktor E. Frankl.
>

## 📒 Summary + Notes

The young adult version of the book that I read is structured very effectively, interweaving Viktor Frankl's real-life experiences in the camp with his development of logotherapy. Additionally, at the end of the book, there is a chronology of Viktor's life along with some authentic photographs.

### Viktor Frankl’s Live

Frankl was born in Austria in 1905 and developed an early interest in philosophy, experimental psychology, and psychoanalysis. While in high school, he corresponded with Sigmund Freud as he attended adult education philosophy classes. During these classes, the instructor recognized Viktor's intellect and allowed him to deliver a lecture on the meaning of life. While still in college, Frankl established his first private youth counseling program, encouraged by a friend who noticed his exceptional talent for identifying psychological issues and uncovering motivators. Simultaneously, he began working at the Psychiatric University Clinic. In 1930, Frankl earned his medical doctorate and went on to establish additional clinics and serve as head of various clinical departments.

During this period, the Nazi ideology was gaining ground in Germany, culminating in their invasion of Austria in 1938 during the infamous Kristallnacht. In that same year, Frankl received a visa for the United States but decided not to go due to his elderly parents. With the outbreak of World War II in September 1939 following the Nazi invasion of Poland, the situation deteriorated rapidly.

By 1941, the German Einsatzgruppe was tasked with executing Jews between the front lines, and the SS had already begun their initial gas chamber experiments in Auschwitz. In the midst of these events, Viktor Frankl, along with his entire family, was arrested and taken to the concentration camp known as Theresienstadt. Subsequently, Frankl was transported to various other concentration camps, eventually becoming completely separated from his family.

In 1945, he was liberated and made his way back to Vienna, only to discover that his entire family had been killed.

### Experiences in a concentration camp

Viktor Frankl was thrust into a concentration camp with abruptness, and none of the prisoners had any knowledge of what awaited them within those barbed wire fences or how long their stay would last. This uncertainty cast a bleak shadow over their experiences, as there seemed to be no glimmer of hope on the horizon. Frankl categorized his experiences in the concentration camp into three stages.

**Stage 1**

This initial stage commenced shortly after their arrival at the camp. Upon arrival, they were sorted into two groups by an SS officer: one group consisted of those deemed fit for labor, while the other comprised the sick and elderly. Those placed in the latter group were unknowingly destined for the gas chamber. The constant looming threat of death created an unimaginable level of stress. Additionally, the brutal punishments meted out by the guards were excruciating to witness, compelling the prisoners to avert their eyes from the unbearable scenes. However, as days or weeks passed, a shift began to occur.

**Stage 2**

During this stage, the human mind started to react to the unrelenting stress and threat of death. The mind began to numb itself and entered a state of apathy. This apathy rendered the prisoners increasingly insensitive to the hourly beatings and the horrific sights around them. All their energy, effort, and emotions now coalesced around a singular objective: survival.

**Stage 3**

This stage was reached upon liberation from the prison, which brought a sudden release of pressure. Ironically, this newfound freedom was challenging for the inmates to cope with. The prolonged stress had eroded their ability to experience joy, and they had to slowly reacquaint themselves with it. Frankl described the moment of liberation as a form of depersonalization, where everything seemed unreal, unlikely, as if in a dream. Some prisoners, as Frankl observed, began to misuse their newfound freedom, behaving licentiously and ruthlessly.

### Logotherapy

Frankl's personality, shaped by his profession and skills, was notably reflective and composed. These attributes enabled him to engage in scientific inquiry even in the direst circumstances of the concentration camp. This aspect of his character is evident in his statement: "Fundamentally, therefore, any man can, even under such circumstances, decide what shall become of him—mentally and spiritually. He may retain his human dignity even in a concentration camp."

He also expressed the profound idea: "If there is a meaning in life at all, then there must be a meaning in suffering." Given his harrowing experiences, his ability to articulate such thoughts is truly remarkable.

This reflective nature and the capacity to thrive in unusual situations led Frankl to develop Logotherapy.

The central goal of Logotherapy is to help individuals find meaning in their lives, as it is believed by many to be the primary motivating force. The scope of Logotherapy encompasses various topics, one of which addresses the common misconception that the ideal state for individuals is one of equilibrium or tensionlessness. Frankl discovered that such a state often gives rise to common problems, leading to what he termed "Sunday neurosis," where people descend into depression as they realize the lack of fulfillment in their lives after a busy week. This results in individuals oscillating between extremes of distress and boredom.

The absence of guidance on how to find meaning in life and its significance has contributed to high rates of depression among teenagers. Many young people struggle because they are not taught what they should do, lack traditions that provide direction, and often don't even know their own aspirations. Prolonged periods of aimlessness can be a ticket into depression.

Another key aspect emphasized by Frankl and Logotherapy is the importance of acknowledging one's responsibility for their own life. Logotherapy posits that this is the core of human existence.

In conclusion, I'd like to leave you with one of Frankl's statements that should never be forgotten: "Man has both potentialities within himself; which one is actualized depends on decisions but not on conditions."

Viktor Frankl is undoubtedly an intriguing figure with a wealth of valuable insights. His theories and knowledge should receive greater recognition. I highly recommend this book, and I hope to see you in my next blog. Thank you for your time.

With regards 
Devin Hasler

A book about finding a meaning and purpose in life.

Man's search for meaning


## 🚀 The Book in 3 Sentences

1. Without a meaningful mission greatness can never be achieved
2. Greatness is discovering your unique gifts and talents to pursue your Meaningful Mission and make the maximum positive impact on the people around you.
3. Be aware of your emotions, your thoughts and your behavior

## 🕵🏼Who Should Read It?

The book's target audience is people new to the self-improvement industry. The book covers basic and fundamental questions and offers practical exercises to find a mission and meaning in life. That said, people who have already read some self-improvement books may find this one boring because similar questions are posed throughout the book.

## ☘️ How the Book Changed Me

The book had no influence on me. I found the book very repetitive and boring to read. The book contains multiple practical exercises that interrupt the reading flow. Also, some exercises are repetitive. After answering the questions and doing the exercises, I did not gain any new knowledge because most of the questions I had already answered before.

## ✍️ My Top 3 Quotes

> “Life is just too short to waste any of our emotional energy on things that don’t matter.” Joel Osteen
>

> “You’ll never rise any higher than the way you see yourself.” Joel Osteen
>

> “Thoughts are the language of the brain and feelings are the language of the body.”  Dr. Joe Dispenza
>

## 📒 Summary + Notes

The goal of this book is to find the purpose of your life and, in doing so, discover your greatness. Lewis Howes divides this journey to finding your purpose into four steps. But before he begins, he explains what greatness means.

### What is Greatness

Lewis Howes has a very simple and understandable definition of greatness. He defines greatness as follows: “Greatness is discovering your unique gifts and talents to pursue your Meaningful Mission and make the maximum positive impact on the people around you.”

What I really like about this definition is that the focus is less on you than on others. To be great is not about doing the best for yourself but more about doing what you can do best for others. If you follow this definition, you will not only find happiness because in most cases the things you do best are also what you love to do, but you will also be successful because having an impact on people means solving problems, which leads to success.

### The Enemy of Greatness

Lewis explains that the biggest enemy of success is not having a meaningful mission, not having a clear path that leads you to your goals.

Lewis says something that should be taught in every school and is probably the cause in 70% of all depression cases. “Not having direction or purpose creates a vacuum in your soul, a vacuum that fears, sadness, and mental health challenges rush to fill.”

In my personal opinion, every kid should learn in school how to discover their life's purpose and how to work toward achieving it. Obviously, some may not be able to answer that right away, and even if they do, there's a high chance that this goal will change as they get older. But the most important thing is that they engage with the question.

### The Barriers of Greatness

As Lewis explains, probably the biggest barrier to success is self-doubt—fear of failure, fear of success, and fear of judgment. These three factors often define your self-doubt, as the doubt diagram suggests.

<img src="/images/blog/theGreatnessMindset/theDoubtDiagram.jpg" alt="The Doubt Diagram" title="The Doubt Diagram" width="50%" height="auto" />

The Doubt Diagram

I've heard a lot, and Lewis Howes talks about it as well, that there is no person on this earth who achieved success without experiencing failure. This is something we should never forget. Additionally, fear has a very natural origin – to protect us from danger. Although most of our fears are no longer life-threatening, we have to keep in mind that this is the most natural response and that it's much more important to push through fear in order to reach greatness.

### The Mindset of Greatness

Another important part of reaching your greatness is your mindset. But what is a mindset? Mindset, as Lewis puts it, includes your thoughts (how you think), your emotions (how you feel), and your behavior (how you act). If all of these aspects align with your meaningful mission, you are doing everything right.

### The Game Plan for Greatness

In this chapter, Lewis Howes shows how to put all the previously done exercises and knowledge into action. He talks about how important it is to set specific goals because they will give you the motivation to take action. Because at the end of the day, you can have laid out the perfect plan to reach your greatness, but if you don't put in the hours, you will never achieve what you want. Think like LeBron James, who always did more than everybody else until it paid off.

<img src="/images/blog/theGreatnessMindset/theTransformationZone.jpg" alt="Greatness Mindset and Powerless Mindset" title="Greatness Mindset and Powerless Mindset" width="50%" height="auto" />


Greatness Mindset and Powerless Mindset

To conclude this brief blog post, I want you to take with you this figure. It's a simple and effective summary of the book, encompassing all the mentioned topics within it. With that, I hope to see you in my next blog post, and thank you very much for reading.

With regards  
Devin Hasler

A book about finding your meaningfully mission and with that your greatness

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